Can We Talk About Hetero Supremacy?

By Ockydub | Posted Apr 6 2017 | 4 Comments  

heterosuprmcy

I struggled on how to approach this subject because at times when I attempt to discuss certain subject matters, it can come across as attacking. By the title you know the subject matter and I think it should perhaps obviously be acknowledged that there are multi-millions of heterosexual allies out there who champion for equality and anti-discrimination causes lead by LGBTQ coalitions.

I remember a time not that long ago, when I made a commitment to use the term non-heterosexual more frequently instead of Gay or Queer. My reasoning is that I don’t want to take away the ability for others to sexually self-identify instead of mass labeling those who happen not to be heterosexual. Another term I’m using more is anti-homosexual instead of homophobia. The usage of homophobia always seemed odd to me. I never thought nor felt the people who view me as an abomination, fear me. Many of them think of me as a deviant problem that needs a solution before their utopia can be obtained.

A couple of times in the past something that I’ve tried to articulate to others but failed, was how I think that many heterosexuals harbor anti-homosexual views even amongst seemingly supportive or tolerant allies. Evan though the term Hetero Supremacy came  across my radar a couple of years ago, I’m just now connecting to its weight of meaning. It identifies what I’ve been observing and experiencing for much of my life. I would like to attempt to shed light on and identify what I feel are elements of hetero supremacy.

I may be poor but at least I’m White”; with this phrase the speaker identifies his privilege or advantage in society while acknowledging their perceived supremacy to other races (mainly Black). This thinking is in the well of White Supremacy.

By comparison, hetero supremacy means heterosexuals who believe they are superior to non-heterosexuals and heterosexuality is the only acceptable practiced sexuality. The reason I preference “practiced” is because I think some heterosexuals are morally and sexually less offended with homosexual individuals who vow celibacy like priests, monks or nuns – “Hate the sin, love the sinner.”

As previously mentioned, I believe many heterosexual allies can also be hetero supremacists. Hetero supremacy doesn’t necessarily mean one is anti-homosexual. A hetero supremacist can be for marriage equality but secretly against a homosexual president over their country. Also keep in mind hetero supremacists can believe non-heterosexuality is not a choice.

The LGBTQ community likes to point out studies that prove many self-identifying heterosexuals, who have anti-homosexual views or behaviors have hidden or suppressed homosexual tendencies. To help substantiate these findings are the many public scandals featuring hard line right wing conservative politicians or clergymen who have been caught up in homosexual affairs. Though this is a common theme, I think the majority of hetero supremacists are not repressed homosexuals or bisexuals.

Some hetero supremacists think that non-heterosexuals have cabal like agendas that negatively influences cultures in addition to destroying families and communities. Even though non-heterosexuality has existed for an eternity and civilizations have thrived, there or those who feel that the five to fifth-teen percent of the population is somehow going to make heterosexuals turn against their sexual instincts and nature.

For many hetero supremacists, male homosexuality and pedophilia are indistinguishable. They occupy the same magnitude of deviancy. This myth coupled with other abhorrent tales primarily targets homosexual males and casts them as the harbingers or moral filth. Interestingly hetero supremacy can show leniency towards sexualized feminine lesbians and bisexual feminine women.

From almost every continent there are daily media stories of non-heterosexual peoples facing discrimination and differing levels of persecution (up to death). Globally non-heterosexuals are being bashed, raped, tortured and killed for having the perceived incorrect or unacceptable sexuality. This is due to hetero supremacy merging with anti-homosexual violence.

Tshifhiwa Ramurunzi

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In accordance with a true heterosexual’s nature; homosexuality is the one thing heterosexuals could never be. This is their one sin that’s truly uncommittable and one that they will never have to seek repentance for. Hetero supremacists own that space and that space wields power. This power infused with anti-non-heterosexual ideologies and hateful sentiments can been viciously enforced.

Dandara dos Santos

On the other end of this spectrum one would think that those who profess that they are “tolerant” of the LGBTQ community couldn’t wear the armor of hetero supremacy but this is not true.

Racism within the Liberal Left has seen more exposure in media narratives and recently films like Get Out have helped push that dialogue further. Tolerant hetero supremacist can get overly sensitive, defensive or aggressive when the subject of homosexuality is broached. Similar to how some White liberals react when the racism focus is on them instead of conservatives.

Hetero supremacist allies can feel secure and comfortable in their positions and will occasionally say offenses that to them seem harmless.

For example, some things a “tolerant” hetero supremacist ally could say of or to a non-heterosexual:

“I don’t have a problem with gay people but I don’t want it around my kids.”

“Just don’t try to push up on me, or make sexual advances towards me.”

“I’m tired of homosexuality being shoved in my face”

“I just don’t understand. How could you not want to be with a woman?”

“I don’t have a problem with gay people but why does it have to be on every TV show?”

“It should stay behind closed doors.”

“You’re too masculine (male) / feminine (female), to be gay.”

“You’re so attractive. What a waste.”

Speaking of tolerance…who the fuck wants to just be tolerated? This toleration is akin to tolerating the barking dog up the street at 2 a.m. or tolerating the crying baby on the air plane. I want the historical contributions by non-heterosexuals to man-kind to be acknowledged and celebrated…not tolerated like a nuisance.

Some of us may even have hetero supremacists in our families that may love us…like my mother. I’m the apple of her eye but she feels she missed out on grand kids, even though she has four from my brother. She also feels like she missed out on my heterosexual wedding and has reservations about attending my imaginary homosexual wedding. More importantly, her religion tells her that I’m going to hell when I die because I don’t view homosexuality as a sin or abomination that needs death bed atonement.

Another thing that hetero supremacists do is label the everyday lives of non-heterosexual peoples as living or having a “Life Style”. There’re cultural differences that are exclusive and celebrated by non-heterosexuals but for the most part non-heterosexuals and heterosexuals live the exact same boring, uneventful, rat race filed lives. What type of “life style” is being referred to exactly? Not only that, many liberal leaning hetero supremacists don’t have a problem with using non-heterosexuals to accentuate and elevate their images as it relates to fashion, slang and dance while still viewing non-heterosexuals as morally deficient. Gays can style and dress the heterosexual wedding while the recipients of the homosexual expertise are against Gay Marriage. 

Slightly switching gears, because my life has been and continues to be surrounded by Black people, I need to get real specific about Black hetero supremacists.

97.9% of all the anti-heterosexual sentiments I’ve received in life have come from Black people. I’m aware this is because Black people are the majority race that has existed in my proximities; nonetheless that doesn’t change my experiences. White society may have told me I’m less than and inferior to Whites, but the Black community told me I was less than a Black man and my sexuality facilitates the destruction of my community.

The Black community told me my homosexuality was a European invention and un-African. I learned that historically white supremacy and colonialism oppressed and decimated large swathes of indigenous melanated peoples across the majority of the world. I learned about “buck breaking” and how slave masters and whites sodomized African male slaves in the Americas which is how homosexuality “spread” among African people.

I did learn about how Christianity within colonialism took root and begin to alter cultures and change supposed uncivilized beliefs. I didn’t hear about indigenous melanated peoples of North and South America and their non-anti-homosexual cultural attitudes that existed before colonialism. I didn’t hear about the indigenous melanated peoples of the South Pacific, parts of Asia or in Australia (before colonialism) whose cultures didn’t condemn nor persecute non-heterosexuals.

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Homosexuality and all other forms of non-heterosexualities are not a European construct or invention. The Black community regulated my sexuality as a byproduct of European colonialism and un-African-ness; willfully and purposely ignoring world historical evidence to the contrary.

Hetero supremacy is looking down upon non-heterosexuals with a moral smugness and knowing that regardless of all their heterosexual short comings, sins, poor judgments, vices and brutalities, at the end of the day, they can still say, “I may be poor but at least I’m not Gay.”

heterosuprmcy

Concerning the header photo; I wanted to show the juxtaposition between violent white supremacy and violent extreme hetero supremacy. Regardless of religion, race or ethnicity, many heterosexuals throughout the world who would disagree on a multitude of issues, have a united bond in their common hatred of homosexuals… easily allowing oppressed peoples to become oppressors.

 

 

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Known victims pictured:
Will Brown – Omaha race riot of 1919 (deceased)
Tshifhiwa Ramurunzi
Dandara dos Santos (deceased)

 

 

 

 

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About the Author
Ockydub

Octavius is a founder and editor of Cypher Avenue. He's here to help speak for us and show the world that masculine gay / bisexual men of color are not a part of the stereotypical gay normal that is seen and fed to the masses. No...we are a distinct breed, filled with character and pride. Cypher Avenue is here to show the world how we are different.

   
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4 Comments Feel Free To Join The Cypher.

  1. Thami Ndaba | April 7th, 2017
    0

    Thanks for this Ocky!
    I’ve encountered this so many times from “allies” and I think it’s high time we called out the hypocrisy of saying “love the sinner but hate the the sin”.

    I’m lucky to live in a world where I can be openly gay in public, at home, church and at work. I live in Johannesburg, a city where I’m encouraged to be open. The company I work for prides itself on its diversity. Yet I always feel that I’m tolerated and not accepted as long as I don’t challenge the status quo -then the heteros in my life don’t mind having me around. Colleagues expect conformity even if it just means behaving in a way that doesn’t upset the dominant culture i e heteronormativity.

    Even though amongst my heterosexual male friends around my age, there is an openness and more acceptance. I think perhaps it’s because younger South Africans are more secular and accepting of diversity. We live in an era where nobody bats an eyelid if two guys kiss in a straight club. But amongst older (35+) and traditionalist straight people the best you can hope for is “tolerance”. It’s generational to some extent but heterosexuals definitely have privilege. One has to ‘contain’ their homosexuality amongst these sort of heteros who “don’t mind gays as long as they do it far from me” types.

    Deep down I always fear what would happen if suddenly South Africans decided to be like the rest of the other countries in Africa and take away my rights as a same gender loving man. That fear comes from this “tolerance” that heteros claim in public but indoors will say things like “if my son were gay I’d beat the gay out of him”. I have hope and faith in the younger generation that one day acceptance will be more common than tolerance.

  2. FREEDOM TRAIN
    FREEDOM TRAIN | April 10th, 2017
    +1

    POINTBLANK – EVEN THO WE LIVE IN A CHANGING WORLD WHERE PEOPLE CAN EXPRESS THEMSELVES BY THE WAY THEY DRESS OR SEX CHANGE OR ACT[ BEING LOUD , TELLING EVERYONE WHO THE D L MAN IS THEY SLEEP WITH ] , THERE IS STILL NO REASON TO BEAT-DOWN OR SHOOT OR STAB OR STONE OR FLAT-OUT-KILL ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. I PRAY FOR THE VICTIMS AND ALL OF US . > LET ‘ GOD ‘ DO AND BE THE JUDGE OF US ALL – POINTBLANK <

  3. Rico
    Rico | April 11th, 2017
    0

    "I struggled on how to approach this subject because at times when I attempt to discuss certain subject matters, it can come across as attacking…"

    No need for apologies. In the words of Ishmael Reed, "Writin' is fightin'"

  4. jusrawb
    jusrawb | April 13th, 2017
    0

    Ocky this was very well written. I think I too will adopt the terms anti-homosexual and nonhetero for the same reasons. I know so many people that claim that they don't have a problem with gay people but then their anti-homo feelings eventually comes out. Especially with tv shows and media having gay themes and its not for comedic relief. Do y'all think maybe shoving gay stuff down people throats is actually what needs to be done? So that at some point it is just "normal" or its like the trend of finding out about gay people is not a big deal.




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