Do Tops Need Ladders for Tall Bottoms?

By OckyDub | Posted Sep 26 2017 | 10 Comments  


A buddy and I were sitting at the end of the bar near the door. The packed lounge was slightly humid and every time patrons would enter or exit, a nice breeze would blow and cool us off. This was due to the lounge having an entry in both the front and rear of the building. For the most part it was a mixed crowd, a few more males than females with my buddy and I surrounded by all men.

From the rear of the building walks in a young woman who had to be about 6’7 (no heels). She looked to be in her late 20’s, was dressed very nice and seemed like she had a pleasant disposition. She was challenged in her facial region and proportionately however. Nonetheless all the kats around me were talking among each other about how they would love to have sex with her. My homeboy and I looked at each other in amusement as we ear hustled.

“You getting this?” I said. “Oh yeah”, he replied. “I don’t understand, though… she not cute at all.” I said. “But look how big she is.” He said. I asked, “would you tap it?” “Hell yeah. I would love to climb mount booty and plant my flag, just because she’s that big”, he replied.

It made me question how do other top leaning non-heterosexual men feel about topping men taller than themselves…like you’re 5’8 and dude is like 6’8.

It also made me wonder if you’re the top in this situation; you see Mutombo standing at the other end of the bar (holding the ceiling up) and you say to yourself, “damn I wanna smash that just for the hell of it”. Would it make a difference to you if their disposition consisted of a masculine or feminine makeup?

My tall friend once told me that he could not top or date a tall fem bottom even though he dates fem leaning or ‘in between’ guys. Tall fem men may not be his preference but I have a hard time believing tall men – regardless of sexual role – are getting rejected because of their height. 

*Note* I’m not a huge fan of the top bottom label but notice I stated top / bottom leaning. My thinking was focused on men who perform or practice these sexual roles / positions in the majority of their sexual encounters with other men. I know these roles are more fluid and balanced for many others. 

Feel free to share your thoughts.



About the Author

Octavius is a founder and editor of Cypher Avenue. He's here to help speak for us and show the world that masculine gay / bisexual men of color are not a part of the stereotypical gay normal that is seen and fed to the masses. No...we are a distinct breed, filled with character and pride. Cypher Avenue is here to show the world how we are different.

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10 Comments Feel Free To Join The Cypher.

  1. OhSheit
    OhSheit | September 27th, 2017

    I always figured it would be a boost to their ego to not only bag a tall dude but also top them too…but I guess I'll let a little nicca answer this. :johnwall:

    For me as a tall dude I can't do anyone significantly shorter or taller than me. But I know majority of the time I'm going to be taller than my partners so we need to be somewhat close in range. You also need to have some meat or athletic tone in addition to that, otherwise I'm going to feel like I'm with a middle schooler. Can't do the twin size beds, I can't get the proper spoonage – I would find pretty much anything that would make me feel uncomfortable, really. Plus I'm still self-conscious about my height so that plays into it as well.

  2. Crescent Mugizi
    Crescent Mugizi | September 27th, 2017

    I call heightism(this is actually a thing and I didn't know) lol
    I am 6'0'', slightly above average height ( average in the US for male is 5ft9). I've had top "experiences" with short dudes and tall dudes and let's just say I prefer short dudes in the bedroom. Meat and fat on the bone, the whole nine yards. It just makes things easier and more enjoyable for everyone involved. Cuddling is easier that way too.

    the only exception is @Champagne_Papi! his tall fine ass can get it

  3. Nick Delmacy
    Nick Delmacy | September 27th, 2017

    At 6'2" tall, the idea of hooking up with a bottom taller than me weird. It would def depend on the dude though… Like I would totally date/sex a fem-leaning short dude…but would never even look twice at a 6'8" tall feminine dude.

    But oddly enough, I would totally be down to have sex with a tall masculine dude…Like if he was an American Born international basketball player in Rome visiting Atlanta….Yes, please.

    Basically it comes down to their masculinity level for me. But since meeting black gay men taller than me rarely happens, it's a question that I rarely have to consider.

  4. SB3
    SB3 | September 27th, 2017

    @Ockydub went out to a lounge? In public? Well I'll be…

  5. SB3
    SB3 | September 27th, 2017

    I've never been w anyone extremely tall. Im 6' and the tallest dude I messed w was at least 6'4". Go figure, he was an extreme power bottom w 2 (genetic, old fashioned way) sons who loved to get choked out, hit and spat on. Wasn't my usual thing, but I actually kinda got off on the fact that this big, brolic, completely masculine dude was essentially yearning for me to dominate him and make him completely submit. Good times.

    So yea, I'm perfectly fine w you being tall as fuk. I actually have a soft spot for tall, lanky guys, but fem…no bueno para mi!

  6. mojoreece
    mojoreece | September 27th, 2017

    Telll'im bro.Maybe it's cause I would be considered a short dude by some; but I don't get heightism.

  7. ControlledXaos
    ControlledXaos | September 27th, 2017

    I wonder if this conflicts with the people who are of the belief that the dude with the biggest dick is the top?

  8. DFW Brutha
    DFW Brutha | September 30th, 2017

    Nope! Just take his legs…


  9. bisonboy
    bisonboy | October 10th, 2017

    So my most recent regular sexual encounter (FWB) was with a guy shorter than me. We never had anal intercourse, but as a verse, I would have been fine for him to top me and vice versa.

  10. Sean
    Sean | October 18th, 2017

    As a top, I have these mental constructs of masculinity, dominance and power in my head that tend to get me off. So for me, the taller a bottom is for me (I’m 6ft), the more I tend to get off…the more facial and body hair he has, the more I tend to get off…the deeper his voice, the more I tend to get off…and no question, the bigger his dick, the more I tend to get off.

    You follow the pattern? Lol. The general thought is that the physical features of a man make him “more manly” and as a result, perceived to be more dominant and powerful. If I perceive a guy to be more dominant and powerful, then I’m pretty much gonna have an awesome nut dominating and overpowering him…so to speak.

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