Is Sexuality Truly Fluid or is its Glass Half Empty or Half Full?

By Juan-Carlos | Posted Aug 12 2018 | 10 Comments  

About a month ago, being a comic book head, I saw the movie, “Professor Marston and the Wonder Women”. This movie is a biopic about Harvard psychologist and inventor Dr. William Moulton Marston. I am eager to learn about fascinating people and Dr. Marston is absolutely one of those people. He invented the lie detector test, was a successful self-help author, and a loving husband to his wife Elizabeth. The fun fact is that the couple later brought in another woman (Olive Byrne) into their relationship. This was more than a “sister wife” situation for both William and Elizabeth connected , fell in love, and were sexual with Olive.

They lived their lives discreetly. This relationship was long term as they continued to live their lives privately. Dr. Marston had children with both women so this was a secretly blended family. The neighbors believed that Olive and her son was brought into the Marston home as a goodwill gesture to a widowed woman and orphaned child. Even after Marston’s death , the women continued to remain together for another 38 years until Olive’s death at age 81. Elizabeth lived to be 100 years old.

The two women in his life inspired him to create the comic book character Wonder Woman. His comic, at the time, drew much criticism and was very controversial because of the way the character was overly-sexualized and scantily clad while some of the comic’s stories had situations of sadomasochism. This was taboo and ultra unconventional for the American public in its Golden Age.

After viewing the movie, there was pensive wonder about sexuality and its spectrum. The Kinsey scale, created by Dr. Alfred Kinsey in 1948, was a point of reference in measuring human sexuality. I hold these facts to remain self evident as all men are equated equal… equal with a “freak” number attached.

Bisexuality legitimately exists. Having romantic and sexual attraction to both sexes is actual. Being bi(sexual) is just not a safe word to use when you are actually a 6 on the Kinsey scale. I was married when I was 20 yrs. old and it lasted for nearly 3 years. The motivation , love, and attraction to do so at so young of an age was real and not a fool-hearty. We decided to divorce because our life pathways began to move in two separate directions. We both finished undergrad , however, she had designs to get her Masters in another state after I received a nice job offer which was local. Theologian Albert Schweitzer said it best, “If you love something so much let it go. If it comes back it was meant to be; if it doesn’t it never was.” There’s maturity in that affirmation and it was a process for me. I continued to wear that gold band even when I relocated to Atlanta and through a year and a half after. It was then, while independent, I decide to wade a little into the man pond.

My intro was with A4A (Adam4Adam). I get bored dumb easy so my online experience was short lived and I was super cautious how I was moving on there. I chatted with a total of five guys from the site and met only two. One from the two was someone whom I really connected with and the compatibility was truly authentic. In fact, we started hanging out regularly, had big fun, and the sex was off tha meter. Later, there were some forced revelations as doubts began to surface which caused him to push me further away. I didn’t understand much of it at the time. During this confusion, I found myself doing nonsensical things like driving to his apartment just to see if he’s home hoping to catch a glimpse of him and on the flip side, once I waited outside in my car an hour, to see if another nikka was going to step out his apartment based on a “funny feeling” I got. That is some ill shyt to do at two different extremes and , to me, a demonstration of a loss of control. I never did anything crazy like causing damage to property or any act of revenge. That isn’t love that is possessiveness; people aren’t objects. One thing is that I just didn’t like feeling that way so I did  the work to change my outlook, perspective, and feelings. It’s about the connection – that special feeling that connects your heart, your mind,and feelings. Sometimes there’s no control who stimulates you in that. However, control is your responsibility and within your aim to maintain without losing your head.

So, shout out to Teyana Taylor and Iman Shupert who recently discussed on The Breakfast Club about the couple sometimes bringing in another woman into the bedroom for mutual playtime. It’s one sided to think seeing two women together for the pleasure of a hetero male but if the woman wanted the same experience with two men then there’s a problem. I would love to see that image in mainstream and not just a pornhub video involving  bi Brazilians.

There’s an adult male performer by the name Jax Slayher. His scenes vary from solo performances to gangbang scenes with a female lead to  a few cuckold scenes. There’s one solo scene with Jax where he uses a dildo on himself for assplay though he’s a straight identified male. Anal sex with the female lead is no longer taboo and in recent years, it is common to see the male actor get his “salad tossed” by the female lead.

“Traditional” roles in sex are unfurling into simply experiencing pleasure. The cool thing about sex is that you can explore and try things as long as you keep an open mind. Being too closed is a negative as you are denying the possibility of the experience. Trust the try especially if you feel something. This lends to why men remain closeted , don’t express their feelings/emotions and feel trapped in a mundane life. Can you imagine if men allowed themselves permission to truly feel and go with the feeling? [Then], that Kinsey number could slide up to a 1 or maybe up to a 4. What do the squad think about this subject?



About the Author

Juan Carlos hails from the Bronx, NYC. Even though he has been in Atlanta for over ten years, he is still a New Yorker at heart. Juan is an avid reader, hip hop head and Marvel Comics enthusiast. His rich family roots are a Tri-Latin American Mix of Dominican, Puerto Rican & Brazilian. Always looking forward, Juan continues to be an ardent life learner.

Categorized as :
Dating & SexSlider

10 Comments Feel Free To Join The Cypher.

  1. mojoreece
    mojoreece | August 12th, 2018

    I personally believe everyone is sexualy fluid. I think its more about connection or vibe sometimes. I mean a beautiful person is still beautiful no matter their gender.

    I remember Ace Rockwood alluding to this in an interview

    • Dante
      Dante | August 13th, 2018

      Nope. Ace Rockwood decided to do straight porn for the money.

  2. Omega Level
    Omega Level | August 13th, 2018

    I think people can identify as more hetero or homosexual in the broad spectrum of their life or personal taste / preference, but I do indeed think sexuality is absolutely fluid for most homosapiens.

    I believe we can all find ourselves sexually attractive to the same or opposite sex given a particular circumstance, moment, and more important a specific person in the attraction.

    Besides those that are bi-sexual Im sure people stay true to their self identified preference, but Im sure there is definitely a dude out there that would make a straight guy do a double take and wonder. And likely for straight woman looking at a certain woman and gay men or women seeing a specific person of the opposite sex desirable.

    For example for me – I have always said and still to this day that I would fuck the shit out of Jada Pinkett. I always had it BAD for her every since A Different World. And trust me, im gay as fuck….

    But the funny thing is I also wanted Will Smith. (Especially Suicide Squad Will. DAMMIT!!)

    So you could imagine if I was ever invited to have a 3-some with Will and Jada I wouldn't need to have sex again for the rest of my life. That would be it. I could die a happy man.


  3. jusrawb
    jusrawb | August 13th, 2018

    I believe it is fluid. I consider myself gay but I could be with a women just not sexually. Sexually nothing turns me on about a women but I've felt attraction to personality, intelligence and other characteristics but I know at the end of the day I love everything about men.

    • Dante
      Dante | August 13th, 2018

      So just by what you said, everyone isn’t fluid and that you are definitely not.

      When someone says they are sexually fluid, they are saying they are fluid and denouncing their bisexuality or trying to fit into the LGBT+ community while still being able to adhere to the heteronormative world we live in.

      Anybody can have sex with anyone, regardless of gender. But sexuality is based on sexual attraction, not who you are fucking. We shouldn’t make it more complicated than it really is just so that we can deny being gay or bisexual.

  4. SB3
    SB3 | August 13th, 2018

    I was just having a conversation with a female friend who said she could 100% be in a relationship w another woman, she just doesn't have any interest in eating the box. Surprised me, until I actually thought about it.

  5. ControlledXaos
    ControlledXaos | August 13th, 2018

    It's fluid. I just think gays are more aware of it … Or we can be. Many gays still think that bi is just a gateway to the gayborhood but that's definitely not true.

    I think straight men especially black, have a difficult time accepting same sex attraction. Like it triggers an internal conflict that some can't handle. I mean can we extrapolate that as many girls who kiss girls that mentioned in rap music, that there's an approximate equal amount of guys who kiss guys as well?

    I don't even buy the 10 percent rule either. Unless we're saying that 10 percent of the population is strictly gay, maybe but that 10 percent can't be a placeholder for everyone who is not 100 percent straight. I think that the 10 percent is too low for gays because probably that's the percentage of people who have no qualms identifying as gay anyway.

  6. Dante
    Dante | August 13th, 2018

    But would you be fucking her for sexual gratification or would you be fucking her just because she is your WCW? Or are you bisexual?

    Again, anyone can fuck anyone. But that doesn't mean sexuality is fluid. It is clear. We just make it complicated.

  7. SB3
    SB3 | August 13th, 2018

    I think the missing word is 'would'. Many guys would w/o the stigma. We've discussed on here about the things boys do w other boys during curious phases, so it's not unlikely that some of it could continue into adulthood. It's laughable tho, because w as often as you have mofos running around yelling 'pause' and 'no homo', you can really see how different soo many guys are when you get them into an intimate setting where they know they're safe from judgement.

    Hell, like I always say about a lot of closeted guys, their issue is feeling that their manhood is in question when it comes to attraction to dudes. For every 1 dude who finds comfort in the fact that Im masculine, there are 10 who find it in my more feminine friend who doesn't shift any gender/manhood roles in their minds.

  8. Omega Level
    Omega Level | August 13th, 2018

    You have a point. Anybody can definitely fuck anybody and that doesn't detect their sexuality.

    I am NOT bi-sexual. I identify as gay if I had to check a box. So I guess if I had sex with Jada I just had "heterosexual" sex, but im still a gay man. Likewise when straight men have sex with a man, they can absolutely still identify and be straight example being men in prison. Sex doesn't define your entire being.

    (Side note – what if sexual labels didn't exist altogether and people just did what they feel? Just a thought, I digress.)

    Maybe the concept of sexuality isn't fluid, but more so humans sexual desires / appetites are fluid.

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