PictureTo be honest, I don’t watch reality television. Add to that, I haven’t seen an episode of The Real World in over a decade. Apparently the show is still going strong with the recently premiered 28th season taking place in Portland, Oregon. One of the cast members this season is a handsome 25-year-old preacher’s kid from Texas named Marlon Williams. Being a young black man in America, he’s stereotypically talented at sports and predictably aspiring to be a rapper (going by the stage name Jay Dillinger).

An interesting part of his background though is that although Marlon is heterosexual, he admits to having had sex with men in the past. This is something that Gay black superhero Frank Ocean hasn’t even admitted publicly. And like Frank Ocean, Marlon Williams (aka Jay Dillinger) also refuses to say that makes him Gay or even Bisexual. This reminds me of the controversial essay I wrote entitled, The Myth Of The Bisexual.

As the story goes, Marlon’s budding football career ended and he hit a low point in his life. It was at this point that the sexual encounters with another man “just happened” as he puts it.  He says it was a one-time thing and he’s not sexually attracted to men. Before I take more words out of his mouth, let me let you see exactly what he had to say about the issue. Our friends at The Advocate interviewed Marlon on this very issue.

Excerpted From The Advocate:The Advocate: OK, this is awkward. MTV tells us “Marlon has had intercourse with a man before and does identify with being bisexual. But he says that he is more attracted to women and doesn’t think he would be with a man again.” We could just take their word for it, but we’d rather you tell us yourself how you identify and why.
Marlon WIlliams: Well, I don’t consider myself bisexual, because I’m not sexually attracted to men. I did have sex with a man but my reasoning for it was different. It was in a hectic time of my life filled with fighting a lot of life battles. I was just making a lot of decisions that I would not normally make. At that time in my life the gay community embraced me, and it is one of those things that just happened. I have nothing against people who are bisexual or gay, but that is not my preference.


How do women react when you tell them?
That’s funny, because it’s not a part of my conversations with women. It hasn’t really come up with any of the females I’ve been involved with. Most women I’ve been interested in lately don’t even care. I mean, whatever your sexual orientation is who cares? If you’re happy that is all that matters.

You’re the son of a preacher and were raised with conservative values. Does that cause conflict for you in terms of your sexuality?
Well, sex in any form is hard, because the beliefs of my parents say that you are supposed to wait for marriage. The big misconception used in religion is that some sin is worse than others. That isn’t true. All sin is equal. Therefore, anything I do that is sinful can be forgiven if I repent and make changes. My belief is that God forgives anybody who believes and wants a new start in life.

You also rap under the name Jay Dillinger. Is the world of rap as homophobic as it is rumored to be? How do you deal with that?
At the end of the day it’s about the music. Frank Ocean definitely showed that if you’re talented, then you can make it happen. Being a rapper isn’t all about the hardcore gangsta stuff all the time. So I feel there is room for any type of artist to make it. You just have to be good. Me, personally, I just ignore the hate. Who somebody goes home with is their business. What difference does it really make in the end? None.


The key takeaways from this interview for me, Nick Delmacy, is Marlon seems pretty honest about his past. Seems like he could have easily kept this information to himself. Although I do suspect that the revelation possibly helped him stand out in the audition process with “The Real World” producers. If he just feigned a relationship with a Gay man for the benefits of support, housing and financial assistance when he was at a low point in life does this make him any different from Gay-for-Pay porn performers and escorts? Well, yeah it does. That would make him an manipulating asshole actually. Hopefully that wasn’t how it went down.Either way, in the previous article I penned about my theory on Fake Bisexuals, I stated that having sex with a woman ONE time in the past really doesn’t make a Gay man a full-on Bisexual. The same rationale should apply to Marlon’s situation if I truly believe this theory. On the other hand, I’m not a jerk about how one chooses to define themselves sexually. If a person tells me he’s Bisexual yet he ONLY shows attraction for men, I usually just go with it and respect their self identification. Whether accurate or not, each person should have that power.

One could argue that Marlon knew full well what he was doing. He was college-aged at the time of the sexual encounters with the man in question. In the official MTV bio they mention that he loves sex a lot (like many other young men). Given that information, one could argue that Marlon isn’t Gay, Bisexual or even Straight…Marlon’s merely a whore (like many young men). One could also speculate whether or not this “explanation” is just Marlon’s (and a publicity representative’s) attempt to “clean up” his past to help steer his budding rap career away from any future “Outing” controversy that would sink his tenure in Hip Hop.

Speculate all we want, its just good to see that this young black man has rebounded from the hardships in his life. I was admittedly too hard on Frank Ocean when that news broke so I’ll go easy on this young man with my over-analyzing opinions. Its even better to learn that when he was down, people in the Gay community were there to help him, which further breaks down the disdain average black men feel towards homosexuals. The most unfortunate thing to come out of this story though, are the predictably hateful comments from women of color on other sites reporting this story. What stood out to me was the expected paranoia and outcry from black women stating that Marlon should tell EVERY woman he dates in the future about his past sexual relationships with men, no matter how long ago they may have been because he may stray back to men, putting them at rick for infection of HIV/AIDS. Sigh.

I love when many paranoid black women completely forget about all of the cheating, whorish, playboy, illegitimate baby making, disease-spreading 100%-heterosexual men already out there once they hear about ONE masculine black guy who may have gay sex in the past. It must help them sleep at night like a favorite blanket and warm milk.

What are your thoughts?