The Top 10 Reasons That You #Fail as a Gay/Bisexual Man…And How You Can Fix Them
If you personally speak to any of us here at Cypher Avenue, we’ll freely admit that none of us are perfect. We’re just speaking our mind and sharing what we think is a minority opinion and viewpoint in the gay community: Masculine, Gay and an American Racial Minority.
having said that, we occasionally take stock of our own flaws and hold them up with the flaws of other men in our small (increasingly diminishing) community of masculine gay men of color.
This got me to thinking: As much as we’d like to rail against heterosexuals, we as a “community” are not much different than them in being damaged, hypocritical assholes….even to each other.
So while there are enough internal flaws we have to fill an encyclopedia, we’ve compiled a list of the Top Ten Fails that we here at Cypher Avenue feel are worth pointing out. We’ve tried to weed out the obvious issues like superficiality and just focus on the flaws that are more deep rooted and ignored. Let’s begin.
This “sexiness” requirement for friends also reinforces the misguided belief amongst Gay/Bisexual men that they must eventually exchange intimacy for friendship (or at least leave the possibility open). We live in a culture of gay men who believe that being sexually active with a “platonic best friend” is just par for the course. That “cuddling” with a platonic friend is okay. The proof is in the numbers. If you ask many gay men if they’ve HONESTLY ever “messed around” (or wanted to mess around) with any of their “friends” in any way, odds are they would say yes, usually when they first met.
Caucasian gays don’t seem to have this problem. At the slightest whiff of an offense, they go to war ordering drone attacks armed with glitter bombs. Example: GLAAD forced CNN to suspend Roland Martin after he merely tweeted a couple bad gay-themed jokes during the 2012 Super Bowl…on his day off work! Sex columnist and gay rights activist Dan Savage led a successful 2003 campaign to publicly redefine the name of former Presidential hopeful Rick Santorum to mean, “the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex” due to the then-U.S. Senator’s views on Homosexuality.
Regardless of whether you think they were right in doing so, Caucasian gays demonstrated that their voices could be heard. Gays of color don’t seem to have the ability for that kind of outrage, let alone that level of call to action.
They embrace the term “submissive” not just when it comes to sexual positions (which is fine in itself), but also when it comes to other aspects of human behavior. These men are attracted to those that are “harder” and “more masculine” than themselves, disregarding their fellow feminine counterparts altogether when it comes to dating. They want to get married and be a wife, preferably a kept male ‘Basketball Wife’ at that. Oddly enough, you will also find many of these men using the term “bottom” as an insult to other gays and masculine men (i.e.: “Ugh, girl, he just a big ol’ tired bottom.”)
* You will receive the latest news and updates on your favorite celebrities!